


The Sweet Surrender of Silence (forces me to live alone)

by Sincerely_Insanity



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Age Play, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bad Flirting, Bottom Liam, Collars, Dom Louis, Dom Zayn, Dom/sub, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Flashbacks, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse (for briefly mentioned OCs only), Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Insecure Liam, Liam has issues, M/M, Master/Pet, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Niall Horan/Liam Payne, Night Terrors, Nightmares, No Aftercare, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Pet Play, Physical Abuse, Protective Zayn, Puppy Liam, Puppy Play, Spanking, Sub Harry, Sub Liam, Sub Niall, Subdrop, Subspace, Top Zayn, Verbal Abuse, harry is kind of a dickhead, little Niall, little liam, suppressants, zayn is a good Dom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-05-25 09:34:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14974340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincerely_Insanity/pseuds/Sincerely_Insanity
Summary: The point of the matter was simple-- it wasn't fool proof, taking suppressants that is. It had its perks, for sure, like allowing one to be perceived as a neutral, which gave you a better advantage over that of a sub when it came time to get a good job and it also gave you a shot at living a Dom free life. But that's all it really was a shot. Not many could handle living without a Dom. Because unlike many subs are led to believe, suppressants aren't fucking fool proof. They only take the edge off. The edge off of that insatiable and damn near uncontrollable need. The need to be compliant and polite in the presence of literally any Dom. The need to be taken care of and handled as though you can't even think for yourself. Now, some subs had no issue with their status and having little control over their life, actually, many were quite happy just living purely to please their Dom.Liam however, was not one of those subs.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I shouldn't be doing this, but here I am posting yet another fic when I still have plenty of others that haven't been touched in ages. I've had this idea for a really long time now though and have been dying to put it out there. Please be sure to read the tags and pay attention to any new tags I add because there are definitely themes in this fic that might be difficult for some people to read. I'll do my best to put warnings on the chapters that need them. I'd like to thank Ellie for editing this chapter and getting rid of my many many errors (any errors to be found are on me though!) 
> 
> Title from Bottom Of The Deep Blue Sea by MISSIO 
> 
> Hope you enjoy (:
> 
> Anyways...!
> 
> *Warnings* The first part of this chapter mentiones implied child sexual abuse

_“Reports are now coming out that the ring had some 150 local Dominants trading and selling submissives for the last two years. Although authorities have not come forward with any specific cases, it is believed that the youngest victim was just 8 years old. N-” The TV was shut off abruptly causing Liam to flinch in surprise. He had been practically frozen in his seat since the breaking news had interrupted his show._

_It was a disgusting and heartbreaking story to hear. The whole thing made him simultaneously want to curl up in bed and never leave, but also made him want to throw up._

_“If they just rounded them all up and disposed of them properly, this kind of stuff wouldn't happen,” Karen muttered with a shake of her head. “Come on, it's time for dinner,” She continued and put the remote back onto the coffee table._  

_“W-what?” Liam spluttered and stared at his mom's retreating figure._

_“It’d be best for everyone if they just got rid of all of those mindless freaks,” She called over her shoulder, as though it was merely an afterthought and not important enough to be anything more._

_Liam’s stomach churned painfully at her words and he was sure he was going to throw up now._

_“How could y-you say something so cruel?” Liam asked incredulously as he followed his mother into the dining room where the rest of his family was waiting at the table._

_Karen snorted and looked at Liam as though what she had said wasn't offensive at all. “Sweety, I love how supportive you are of others, but really? They aren't worth anyone's tears. None of these kinds of things would happen if they knew how to speak for themselves.”_

_“Yeah, they’re practically brainless, walking around waiting for a Dominant to tell them what to do. It's not natural,” Ruth chimed in from across the table where Liam had sat down._

_The others nodded in agreement while Liam was focusing on swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat._

_“Can we talk about something else? Like, oh, I don't know, how about the fact that I got an A on my chemistry exam?” Nicola stated excitedly._

_The rest of his family followed her lead without any push back._

_Liam, however, was trying his best to focus on his breathing. His heart was racing and his entire body felt as though it was boiling from the inside out, causing beads of sweat to form around the edge of his hairline. He had no idea what was happening, but he was sure he needed to figure it out. Alone._

_“Can I be exc-used? My stomach h-hurts,” Which really wasn’t a lie. Ugly knots were forming in his stomach and pulling together tightly and he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to act relatively normal._

_Worry clouded his mother’s features immediately. “Of course sweetheart. I’ll come to check on you later, yeah?”_

_Liam shook his head. “I’m su-ure it's n-nothing serious. I’m just g-going to go to sle-eep.”_

_He stood from his seat and quickly exited the room before running up the stairs to his bedroom. He locked his door behind him and sunk to the floor, searching frantically underneath his bed for his medication. He slid an old shoebox towards him and pulled the top off. The orange pill bottle was at the very bottom stuffed under various different keepsakes that held sentimental value to Liam. He turned the bottle around in his fingers until he located the emergency contact number and punched the numbers into his phone with shaky fingers._

_It only took two rings for someone to pick up, but to Liam it felt as though he was waiting an eternity. Something was wrong and he needed help._

_“Submissive-In-Secret Emergency Hotline, my name is Erin, how may I help you?”_

_“S-Something’s wrong. I-I can’t- feels like so-omeone is step-ping on my chest.” Liam swallowed thickly, trying to keep his voice down, but also make sure he could be heard clearly. This was the first time he had ever used the hotline and wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say, but he figured starting with how he felt was a good idea._

_“Can you tell me your name, sweety? And how old you are?” The women asked patiently._

_“L-Liam and si-six-”_

_“Six? Are you trying to say six?”_

_“Sixteen,” Liam finally finished._

_“Alright and it feels like someone is stepping on your chest, as in it’s difficult for you to breathe? Are you in a safe place right now, Liam?” He could hear her typing in the background as well as other phones ringing and being answered and it made him feel anxious for some reason._

_“Yes, I’m s-safe in my be-edroom and I c-can’t bre-eath right. A-Also feel hot a-and fu-uzzy,” And he knew that didn’t make a lot of sense, but he didn’t know how else to describe what was happening. It was almost like he wasn’t really there, like he had crawled into the back of his mind and he was watching someone else control him._

_“Oh, oh dear. Alright, I’m going to patch you through to someone else, but I need to know if you’d prefer a man or a woman,” Erin’s tone had turned into something that Liam thought might have resembled worry if he could have focused for more than a few seconds at a time._

_He meant to explain his preference for men, but what had come out was more or less an unintelligible mess. It frustrated him that he couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence, but he was quickly distracted by the sound of a deep voice passing through his phone._

_“Hello?”_

  _Liam just about lost it completely. He didn’t need to see the man to know that he was now talking to a Dominant._

_“My name is Connor and I was told you’re starting to go under. Is that correct, Liam?” The man asked, his voice smooth and inviting._

_“W-What does th-at mean?” Liam questioned and let out an exhausted sigh as it took almost all of his energy to get out such a clear and concise sentence._

_“Is this your first time? Your first time feeling hot and fuzzy?” Connor asked again in a way that Liam could understand._

_“Y-Yes. I ca-an hardly talk. Wh-ats happen-ing to me?” The worry was clear as day in Liam’s voice and his heart had not settled since he left the dinner table._

_Liam heard Connor let out a deep breath before speaking. “It won’t make any sense if I try to explain it to you now, so what I want you to do is strip down to your underwear, can you do that for me Liam?”_

_Liam’s eyes grew wide at the man’s words, because what the actual fuck?_

_“Exc-use me?”_

_“I’m here to help you, Liam. This isn’t meant to be scary or inappropriate, I just need you to listen to me. Can you be a good boy for me and get out of your clothes?” Connor tried again, his voice never anything other than patient._

_His request still sounded absolutely absurd, but Liam found himself putting down his cell phone and doing as he was told. It felt good to listen, to follow the Dom’s orders._

_“Done,” Liam whispered into his phone, his face hot with embarrassment._

_“Thank you, Liam. That makes me really happy,” Connor told him honestly._

_One of the uncomfortable knots in his stomach seemed to unwind at the thought of making the Dom happy._

_“Now, I would like you to kneel on the floor by your bed. Can you do that for me?” Connor’s voice was beyond soothing and with each command that fell from the man’s lips Liam found himself feeling lighter, but also a lot less in control. He was easily confused even though nothing really confusing had been said and his lips seemed to be working of their own accord._

_“Yes, Sir.”_

_“Good boy. How do you feel now?” Connor made sure to keep his tone gentle and praise the sub for even the simple things, like calling him sir._

_Liam thought about the question while doing his best not to let his body react too obviously to the praise. “Feel light, but not here. Like up in space, like Buzz Lightyear.”_

_Connor smiled at the boy’s words. It was always interesting to see where subspace would take a person. “That’s good. How old are you, Liam?”_

_“Ei- no. ‘M sixte-en,” Why on earth would he say eight? Although others might disagree, Liam wasn’t stupid, he knew how old he was. He was eight- no! He was sixteen. What the fuck was going on?_

_“There’s nothing wrong with being little. You can be little with me, Liam.” It worried Connor a bit that Liam seemed to be fighting his headspace, but he also realized Liam didn’t know what was happening. It was natural for someone who maybe hadn’t been around other subs or someone who has an unsupportive family to repress their subspace needs, but it was also very dangerous if the sub did it all the time._

_“Is Buzz Lightyear your favorite?” Connor asked when Liam hadn’t responded._

_“Woody. Like Woody best, but I feel like Buzz right now,” Liam confessed. Woody couldn’t fly, but he felt like he was flying right now so it only made sense that he said Buzz. He gasped excitedly as the thought popped into his head._

_“Iron Man! Feel like Iron Man.”_

_“Oh yeah? Iron Man is pretty cool, but Spiderman is my favorite,” Connor replied with a smile on his face. Usually his conversations with subs in distress were heavy and difficult to get through, but if Liam stayed in his little headspace until he fell asleep Connor would write it off as the easiest session he had ever done._

_“Spiderman swings, ‘m not swingin’, ‘m flying,” Liam answered as if what Connor had said was the most foolish thing he had ever heard._

_Connor laughed at the subs obvious annoyance. “Yeah I know sweetheart. Maybe you should color me a picture of Iron Man?”_

_Liam’s face broke out into an excited grin. “Yeah! But don’t have any coloring books. Can I draw you Iron Man?”_

_“I would love that.”_

_And so for the next hour Liam made Connor a picture of Iron Man, making sure to color it in and everything, all the while telling the Dom about what he did for fun and how much he hated when his Mom made him clean his room. Connor was completely captivated with the sub, but he could tell the boy was growing tired as the minutes stretched on. It was going on 10pm and he was sure Liam had school to attend in the morning._

_“‘M sleepy,” Liam admitted._

_“Yeah I suppose you should go to bed now, you’ve got big boy school tomorrow, yeah?” Connor guessed and assumed he had hit the mark when Liam let out a small huff._

_“Don’t wanna leave you,” Liam whispered sadly. Connor was so nice; the nicest person Liam had ever talked to; nothing like the mean kids at school._

_Connor’s heart clenched painfully and he knew he wasn’t really supposed to do this but he was a little smitten for the sub on the other end of the phone.“Next time you start to feel hot and fuzzy you can call this number again and ask for Connor. We can talk some more then, but right now you’ve got to sleep. You’re gonna be a good boy and listen to what I say, aren’t you, Liam?”_

_“Yeah okay. Goodnight, Daddy.”_

 

-*-

 

Liam groaned once the sound of his alarm going off had successfully gotten through to his sleeping body that it was time to wake up. His muscles were stiff as he sat up in bed and he fixed the empty room around him with a hard glare. He wasn’t a morning person by any means. He’d much prefer to sleep away the day than to get up and face the world he had built around himself. Though he’d gathered that had less to do with his distaste for the morning sunlight as it did with the heavy weight that resided on his broad shoulders-- it was an ever shifting weight, but never did it truly lift from his body. Some days it settled in different areas like his upper back and neck or on the more difficult days it’d make its home right in the center of Liam’s chest, making it hard for him to breathe.

He didn’t have to be awake for long to know that today would be filled with shallow breaths and shaky sighs.

He gave himself a moment before getting out of bed, assessing his current state and trying to make a game plan. It seemed as though he’d might as well go about the day like it was any other; staying home “sick” would do little in easing the incessant need to cough up something that wasn’t there. Liam finally planted his feet onto his soft, cream colored carpet and made his way to the bathroom where he could get all of his necessary duties out of the way.

First it was his teeth, next his face, then his hair and lastly--

He sighed loudly as he fumbled with the small prescription bottle, causing the orange container to clatter harshly against the expensive tiled flooring.

After picking it up he contemplated how many to take. Really, he was only supposed to take one a day, two in case something triggered a sudden slip, but nothing more and definitely not any less. He shuddered at the thought of not taking any-- not that they really did all that much, but he liked to think it was better than nothing. Which it _was_ , but even with taking them every day for almost 14 years now (not counting the horrible 3 year gap he started at 17) the suppressants still only suppressed so much.

The point of the matter was simple-- it wasn't fool proof, taking suppressants that is. It had its perks, for sure, like allowing one to be perceived as a neutral, which gave you a better advantage over that of a sub when it came time to get a good job and it also gave you a shot at living a Dom free life. But that's all it really was _a shot_ . Not many could handle living without a Dom. Because unlike many subs are led to believe, suppressants aren't fucking fool proof. They only take the edge off. The edge off of that insatiable and damn near uncontrollable _need_. The need to be compliant and polite in the presence of literally any Dom. The need to be taken care of and handled as though you can't even think for yourself. Now, some subs had no issue with their status and having little control over their life, actually, many were quite happy just living purely to please their Dom.

Liam however, was not one of those subs.

He rolled his shoulders back and popped one of the blue pills in his mouth, defiantly. He didn’t need a Dominant. He was a grown-ass man and didn’t need to be cuddled and coddled.

Walking back into his room, he got dressed in one of his nicer suits and tried to focus on what was more important. He had a new secretary coming in today and he needed to put his best foot forward if he wanted the newcomer to stick around; he couldn’t afford to get caught up in his own mind today. Although, he never was good at staying out of his head for very long.

 

-*-

 

Liam clenched and unclenched his sweaty hand around the handle of his briefcase as the elevator ascended higher and higher. He was doing his best to calm his racing heart as he truly had no reason to be nervous, but then again he was about to be thrust more than just a little outside of his comfort zone.

When the doors finally opened and he stepped out onto the highest floor of the building, he could sense him immediately.

The man's back was to him as he was bent over behind his computer chair messing about with a few cords and muttering more than a few curse words. Liam kept his eyes trained to the wall behind the man otherwise he’d be faced with staring at the man's long slender legs and small behind which his slacks did a nice job of accentuating.

He approached the man's desk and cleared his throat-- gaining the dark haired man’s attention, instantly. He stood upright and turned to face Liam, with a bit of confusion clouding his golden eyes.

Recognition flashed across the man's features and he fixed Liam with a bright grin while thrusting a hand out in between them. 

“Mr. Payne, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Zayn, your new assistant.”

Liam squared his shoulders and took Zayn's hand in his, giving it a firm shake before immediately dropping his hand back to his side. He was more excited than he probably should be at the fact that he was a bit taller and broader than the man before him, but he supposed he didn't have much else over Zayn as everything else about the man screamed Dominant.

Now usually, Liam only hired neutrals and subs, almost having a strict unwritten rule reading, ‘No Dom's allowed,’ but the Dom before him was one he really couldn't have afforded to pass up.

His last assistant, Savannah, had recently become attached and her Dominant was adamant that she give up her job (as many Dom’s find it silly for a sub to have a career that doesn't revolve around pleasing them), but she had convinced both Liam and her mate to at least let her do one last thing. Find a suitable replacement.

And that she did.

Zayn had the most outstanding resume Liam had seen in his life. With references that Liam himself didn't even have and the qualifications of about five Savannah’s put together. He was extremely lucky Savannah had snatched the Dominant up before anyone else.

“It’s nice to meet you as well, Mr. Malik. I assume Savannah filled you in on all that you will be doing?” Liam was doing his best to be polite, but really he wanted to hole up in his office for the rest of the day just so he wouldn’t have to be near the Dom. It was unnerving to be this close. Liam’s personal space bubble had always been pretty large, but he was sure any other sub with a complex would have had the same reaction as him in this situation.

“Yes, she was very helpful and I’ll be sure to do my best to fill her shoes,” Zayn said with a respectful smile.

“Good. I’ll be in my office if you need me.” Liam gave the man a curt nod before stepping passed him and slipping into his office-- locking the door behind him just to make himself feel better. Now it wasn’t like Liam never came in contact with Doms, it was just that he had never had to work so closely with one before. He was very particular with whom he surrounded himself with and would never willingly let a Dominant work within his personal space. Zayn would be coming in and out of his office all day long, conversing with him on a regular basis and in more important cases, would be accompanying Liam on business trips. It was extremely risky and the majority of Liam was screaming to get rid of the Dom, to find someone else; someone who would undoubtedly have lesser qualifications, but who would not be a Dominant. Ultimately though, he knew his company couldn’t afford that kind of foolishness. So he’d suck it up and get a _fucking grip_ , because, honestly, he didn’t get this far in life by giving up when things got too uncomfortable. He would deal with this. He _could_ deal with this.

 

-*-

 

Liam could _not_ deal with this.

He was about to lose his fucking mind. Zayn had been on the phone for the past half an hour now talking to god knows who about god knows what; all Liam knew was that the Dominant was not happy and it was severally fucking with his head.

Zayn’s angry voice carried easily through Liam’s office door and the sub was finding it difficult not to get down on his knees from the force the Dom was putting behind his words. Just as Liam’s last shred of willpower was on the verge of snapping, he heard Zayn slam the phone back into its place and the Dom grow quiet. Liam let out a sigh of relief and was beyond grateful that the conversation ended when it had, but he also knew he needed to get out for a bit; possibly head down for a smoke.

He walked to the door and took a deep breath before opening it, revealing a stressed looking Zayn running a hand through his long hair.

“Everything alright out here?” Liam couldn’t tell you what possessed him to open his mouth and address the clearly frustrated Dominant. Usually and rightfully so, Liam would steer clear of irritated Doms as much as possible as it opened too many doors for something to go wrong if he were to try to help calm them down.

Zayn’s head snapped up and he fixed Liam with a carefully blank stare. “Yeah, nothing to worry about, just trying to set up your next trip to the States.”

 _Oh_. He felt a bit sorry for the Dom now that he knew what all the fuss was about. His dealings with people in the States never went well. Savannah had made it very clear to Liam how much she despised setting up meetings with the CEOs across the pond as they always talked down to her and made everything more difficult than it needed to be. Which of course they did; America’s higher-up positions were full of neutrals. Neutrals were known for being prejudiced against submissives and although it wasn’t as common, Dominants still got their fair share of flack.

“I see. Well I’m going to step out for a minute,” Liam said and quickly left Zayn to calm down by himself.

Once Liam had made it outside of the building, he immediately lit up and brought the cigarette to his lips. It was a nasty habit, but he used it more as a last resort when things got to be too much and tried not to do it too often. Truthfully, he hated the smell it left behind and the taste that lingered in his mouth afterwards, but this is a situation which he thought called for a smoke break. 

After he had finished the cigarette and thrown it away, Liam felt a lot better. His head didn’t feel as clogged as it had before and he felt like he could actually focus again. On his way back up to his office, he stopped on the floor just below his so he could get an idea of how far along his people were on the project he had given them last week.

As usual, it was pretty chaotic on this floor as many people were running around with various things in their hands and papers tucked under their arms. Liam tried to limit his time here as it caused him a lot of stress with how loud it was due to everyone talking at once and different phones ringing and ringing and _ringing._ He quickly weaved in and out of the cubicles and went straight back to the group meeting area. It was really just a large table at the back with multiple chairs surrounding it; some pushed in neatly, others occupying just the people Liam was looking for.

“Mr. Payne, what are you doing down here?” Erica asked once Liam had reached the small group of subs.

“I’ve come to see what kind of progress you all have made. Is there anything you can give me?” Liam responded with his hands clasped behind his back.

Erica looked around to the other subs that sat with her for help, only to see them conveniently looking elsewhere. She cleared her throat and gave Liam a nervous smile. “Right of course, um. We actually aren’t as far along as we thought we would be.”

“And why is that?”

“Well you see, we had all been working on previous projects that Alex gave out to us individually and we were trying to finish those before we started the one you had given us as a group,” Erica explained and nervously wrung her hands together while avoiding looking Liam in the eye.

“Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I did mention that this was to come first and to delay all of your current projects for this one, did I not?” Liam didn’t mean to get short with her, but he needed these numbers before his next business trip. He liked to have everything done a bit in advance so he wasn’t scrambling and adding unnecessary stress to his life.

“You did,” Erica said with a slight nod.

“Exactly. So next time you will be sure to put my assignments ahead of Mr. Baker’s, like you were instructed. Now, I expect this done by the end of the week,” Liam ordered and began to turn around and take his leave when one of the others finally spoke up.

“The end of the week? It’s Wednesday!”

“I know that, Jackson and I don’t care how late you have to stay to finish it nor do I care if you have to take it home with you. It will be done or you can see your way out,” Liam knew he was being a bit harsh, but he worked his ass off to get to where he is and wasn’t about to let people think they could blatantly ignore his instructions and get away with it.

Liam saw the others glare at Jackson for his outburst before he turned to walk back to the elevator. He hadn’t realized that everyone around had stopped to watch the four of them until people were hurriedly getting back to work and avoiding Liam like the plague as he passed.

Good. They should be scared.

He made it back up to his floor without any further detours and was a bit surprised to find Zayn’s desk abandoned. Now it wasn’t like the lad was supposed to be glued to his seat all day, or anything, but Liam wasn’t really sure what he would have to do on his first day that he couldn’t do at his desk. And okay, maybe Liam was nitpicking, but he was in a mood; had woken up in one actually, but it hadn’t resurfaced until now. He could feel a headache coming on as he thought about the mess that he left on the previous floor. He really wasn’t trying to be a hard ass about it, but he needed the numbers before he was scheduled to leave, which was next week. It was cutting it a little too close for Liam and he would have much preferred for everything to be finished by now, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen.

He sunk into his chair behind his desk and rubbed his eyes as they started to hurt with the pressure he could feel building up behind them. He had medicine somewhere in his office, but really didn’t want to bother looking for it.

“Come in!” Liam called, as a knock sounded on his door.

Zayn opened and closed the door behind him and stood in front of Liam’s desk with a perplexed look on his face.

“Yes?” Liam prompted, a bit impatiently.

“I’m sure it isn’t really my place, but I just wanted you to know that you could have handled that better downstairs,” Zayn said with an air of confidence that rubbed Liam the wrong way. Because of course. Of fucking course.

“You’re right, it isn’t your place. At all,” Liam ground out. He had absolutely no desire to make this Dom feel welcome from here on out. This was Liam’s company, for crying out loud and here Zayn was trying to tell him how discipline _his_ employees.

Zayn’s features contorted into a look of frustration. “I’m just saying that those were subs you were dealing with and they have a hard time being talked down to like that.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Mr. Malik, but almost the entirety of my staff is made up of neutrals and subs so I am very much aware of how to deal with them. However, I really don’t care who anyone is, I will take action in anyway I see fit and no one can do a damn thing about it because I am the boss, and if you don’t do as I say, you will be fired.” By the end of Liam’s little speech, he had stood up from his chair and began leaning over his desk a bit, trying to show the Dominant that he was in charge and not the other way around.

“Well someone’s having a bit of a power trip, aren’t they?” Zayn provoked.

"Excuse me?" Liam glared at the man standing before his desk; his brown eyes cold and unforgiving.

"You heard me. I think you need to be taken down a peg or two. You think you're better than everyone else just 'cause you sit in the big chair?" The dark haired man spat and crossed his arms over his chest. Zayn’s golden eyes were burning with animosity and his stance was nothing short of authoritative.

Liam did his best to ignore the familiar pull he felt in his gut at the Dom's obvious frustration towards him and focused on putting the man in his place. This was his company and he’d be damned if he let someone come in and tell him how to run things, especially a Dom. "Ya know I could have your job for talking to me like that?"

"I'm not really interested in working for someone who needs a swift kick in the ass anyway. If you were a sub I'd have you over my knee as we speak," The man threatened and--

"Get out," Liam mumbled, hands clenching the edge of his desk.

"What?"

"I said get out! Get the fuck out!" Liam shouted and pointed at the door while avoiding the man's eyes.

Zayn scoffed loudly before Liam heard the shuffling of feet across the carpet and the sound of his door being opened and closed roughly. Liam let out a long sigh that ended in a soft whimper as he felt the beginnings of a knot forming in the pit of his stomach. It didn’t take long for him to start feeling a bit queasy as the knot pulled tightly at something he did his best to keep buried in the far recesses of his mind. Liam was starting to slip.

It always started the same-- first the hair on the back of his neck would rise, making his skin feel like it was being pricked with needles, then his pulse would accelerate so much so that he would have a hard time breathing and soon after that he’d become increasingly less aware of his surroundings. There was a time where he used to welcome the feeling-- before he realised it was almost always an involuntary reaction to stressful events. However, things were different now. He was more aware of all the things that could go wrong when he wasn’t in control.

The first sign of his hair standing on the back of his neck had him frantically throwing open the third drawer in his desk and rifling through it’s contents until his fingers grazed a small plastic case. It sat at the very bottom of the drawer, under piles and piles of paperwork-- only to be used for emergencies. It wasn’t often that Liam had an episode while he was at work, but he did have to deal with less than pleased Doms from other companies on a rather regular basis. Usually though, he had a better sense of self control and he could easily count on one hand how many times he had almost fallen off the edge at work; this now being one of those times.

He opened the white pill case and popped out one of the blue tablets and swallowed it dry; fearing if he looked around for something to wash it down with it would be too late. 

Almost instantly, he felt the tension slip off of his shoulders and the knot unwind in his stomach. He slumped back into his plush swivel chair and closed his eyes so he could concentrate on his breathing. He had half a mind to just pack up and call it a day, but it was barely 10am and he was not about to let some stupid Dom get to him like that. He was stronger than that; he didn’t need to go home and have a cry over nothing, even though that’s exactly what he felt like doing.

 

-*-

 

Boredom.

You could die of that right? Probably. Liam’s sure he read something about it before; about how it was easily one of the worst ways to die, what with it starting out in the back of your mind as nothing more than a suggestion until it was slowly but surely pushing its way towards the front, demanding to be recognized and felt and _cured_.

Liam had been finished with all the necessary paperwork for the day for over an hour now and he’d been bored out of his mind ever since. However, if anyone were to ask, he’d tell them he was still neck deep in figuring out the latest contract he was about to propose to one of his newer clients. He wasn’t hiding out _per se,_ but it was well on its way to being 3 o’clock in the afternoon and he had yet to leave his office for not even as much as a trip to the bathroom. So okay, maybe he was hiding out, but he had no desire to run into that awful Dom ever again, which would be inevitable seeing as how his desk sat right outside Liam’s office.

He was being ridiculous. And not only was he bored sitting in his office, he was absolutely starving.

Who’s to say that the Dom didn’t quit anyway? He did say he had no interest in working for Liam anymore so perhaps the lad had already left?

It was wishful thinking of course, but it got Liam off his ass and out of his office nonetheless.

“You’re still here then,” Liam stated as he closed the door behind him and took in the sight of Zayn typing madly at his desk.

“Well you didn’t say I was fired outright, just said that you _could_. And plus I’ve got to catch up on all the filing your last secretary wasn’t able to finish,” Zayn answered without so much as a glance in Liam’s direction.

“Right,” Liam was a bit thrown with the man’s lack of hostility or any emotion at all really, but it didn’t matter. He was hungry and didn’t exactly feel like doing a deep dive into why Zayn might be acting differently-- so he left.

He took the time in the elevator to brush off Zayn’s seemingly abrupt attitude change and focused on getting to his favorite cafe for something to eat.  

He checked his watch obsessively as he walked down the busy sidewalk. He hoped that he hadn't waited too long and was trying to calculate the possible shift start and end times based on when he usually stops in for lunch. Was that creepy? Trying to determine someone’s work hours? Most definitely, but he couldn’t help it. And really he doubted he was the only one who wanted to get their order taken by a certain blonde, blue eyed beauty.

The bell chimed above his head as he swung the door open and stepped in from the cold. It wasn’t terribly busy, probably the least busy he’s ever seen it; with only one other person sipping on coffee in a corner booth. He supposed most of the rush had come and gone now that it was past the typical lunch hour.

The set up was what Liam could only describe as -- chaotic. From the very first time he stepped foot into Tommo’s Cafe he’d never been able to tell what they were really going for in terms of aesthetic. It was a jumbled mess of hipster meets sporty meets he didn't know -- posh maybe?  It was confusing, that's for sure, but somehow he didn't mind the obvious lack of order that the cafe held within its walls. With the scent of coffee and tea floating heavily throughout the air and the light classical music that played in the background, it made him feel calm, in a way. The familiarity of it all could set him at ease on even the most stressful of days.

Once he reached the counter, he tried to school his features into something that resembled indifference as he stood opposite a man with long, unruly curls.

He _had_ been too late. 

“Hi. What can I get for you?” The man asked, his green eyes gleaming with interest.

And just as Liam was about to open his mouth a shout came from somewhere in the back.

“Christ! ‘arry!”

The man before him gave Liam an apologetic look before disappearing behind the double doors that led to what Liam assumed was the kitchen. “I told you I would get it, Niall. Now go out there and take that man's order while I clean up this mess.”

Not long after that the double doors were opening once again to reveal the one person he had been so anxious to see.

The blonde strode towards the counter with an easy smile on his face. “Liam! I thought you wouldn't be in today.”

Liam’s body betrayed him as he felt his cheeks begin to heat up at having the man's undivided attention. “Uh- no, yeah, just got caught up at work is all.”

Niall nodded his head in understanding. “Having your usual then?”

Liam nodded mutely; his tongue seeming to have grown ten sizes.

“I’m glad ya still decided to stop in missed those pretty eyes all the time I was out sick last week,” Niall said as he made Liam’s coffee.

And if his face wasn’t flushed before, it sure as hell was now; what was the lad even on about? His eyes were brown; nothing special.

“Um y-yeah, I was a bit put off the whole time you were out,” Liam confessed.

“Well, I’ll try not to go and leave ya hangin’ like that again,” The blonde offered and slid Liam’s cup across the counter along with a blueberry muffin.

Liam snorted and passed Niall the money for his order. “Better not, would be shit if I had to find a new place to get my lunch-- it seems no one around here makes my coffee as well as you do.”

It was an odd way to flirt; hell it was an odd way to compliment someone even, but Liam was more than a bit out of his element here. Liam didn’t flirt or even talk to people in general for that matter; it had always felt too risky. But here he was trying to chat someone up (albeit poorly, but he was trying nonetheless) whom he knew he could never have.

The Irish lad’s cheeks tinted at Liam’s words -- only slightly, but Liam would take what he could get.

“Right. Well I’m off for today, hope to see you again tomorrow -- maybe on time? I’d like to see your face for more than five minutes before my shift ends,” Niall teased and untied his apron from around his waist.

Liam nodded in agreement and sent the man a small smile as he watched him pull his arms through a heavy jacket and step out into the chilly September weather.

“He has a Dom you know,” A deep voice rumbled from behind him.

Liam turned to face the green eyed man, Harry, his nametag read.

“What?” Liam asked dumbly.

Harry’s eyes narrowed into slits and he crossed his arms over his chest. “He’s got a Dom.”

And Liam’s good mood that Niall had left him with immediately turned sour. Because _of course_ he would have a Dom, not that that really changed things as Niall would have continued to be off limits no matter what, but it just made Liam’s interest that much more of an issue.

Liam was already crossing several lines by crushing on a fellow sub, but to be going around presenting as human and be chatting up a sub that was already mated? That would surely earn him a good ass kicking if Niall’s Dom were to ever find out. God Liam really new how to pick ‘em didn’t he?

“I wasn’t--it really--”

“So you weren't trying to hit on him?” Harry asked, his tone giving away his obvious lack of belief.

Liam shook his head in an attempt to save his ass. Because not only did he have an angry sub standing in front of him, but the man also seemed to know Niall’s Dom and all he would have to do is let it slip that Liam had seemed too friendly and Liam would be done for.

“So he just left his number on your coffee cup for what? Talk about the weather or some shit?” Harry sneered and wait what?

Liam glanced down at the paper cup he was holding and felt his heart skip a beat. Liam didn’t have time to be happy about the small development though because the cup was snatched out of his hand before he could even memorize the number.

“I think you should leave.” And it wasn't a suggestion.

Liam nodded stiffly and clutched his muffin to his chest-- fearing that the protective sub would snatch that away from him too, before he stumbled out of the small cafe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrightttttt please consider this a mini update and expect more in the next few days. I originally had this bit as the beginning of the actual update but I think it flows a lot better if I separate them into two different chapters like this. Also I'm sorry it's taken so long, apparently smut isn't something I can just dish out on a dime like I can with angst. Hopefully though the smut in the next chapter will be worth the wait (: I appreciate your patience like nothing else. This has only been edited by me btw!
> 
> Anyways...!

_ “Liam,” Connor breathed, not bothering to mask the surprise in his voice. _

 

_ “Happy anniversary,” Liam mumbled nervously as he watched his boyfriend read the Doctor’s letter over and over, almost as though he was waiting for some kind of catch. _

 

_ “You know what this means don’t you?” Connor asked, wanting to make sure this was what the sub really wanted. _

 

_ Liam nodded his head instantly. “I-I think I’m ready. Besides I’ll be 18 in less than a year so if I’m ready now, we might as well make the jump.” _

 

_ “Do you- do you not want me to?” Liam asked hesitantly after Connor hadn't responded. Maybe Liam was expecting too much too fast. Who's to say Connor was ready to have a full time sub? The Dom was only 21, maybe he didn't want that kind of responsibility yet. _

 

_ Or. _

 

_ Maybe Liam was jumping the gun entirely. What if they weren't even together by the time his birthday rolled around? What if Connor suddenly decided he didn't want Liam anymore? The sub knew he could be a lot sometimes so it would make sense for Connor to grow tired- _

 

_ “Babe?” _

 

_ When did it get so hot in here? _

 

_ “Liam, look at me.” _

 

_ Had his throat always been this dry? God it felt like he was suffocating- _

 

_ “Liam!” _

 

_ Confusion clouded Liam’s features as he looked up at Connor from where he was kneeling on the floor. “What’s going on?” _

 

_ “You were panicking, babe. I had to get you to calm down somehow,” Connor explained with a tinge of guilt in his blue eyes. _

 

_ “Oh. I-I just don’t remember getting on the floor,”  Liam confessed, which he supposed wasn't completely true. When he really thought about it he could recall feeling a pressure on the back of his neck and a sudden softness under his knees. His head felt a little foggy and the memory was difficult to place. It was almost felt as though he dreamt it, or like he was watching a film that he had missed the beginning of. _

 

_ “I know, babe. I reset you, so I could get you to relax and listen to me,” Connor clarified, but Liam was still having a hard time understanding with his head feeling as though someone had stuffed it full of cotton balls. He felt strange and his stomach churned slightly at the thought of being that unaware of his surroundings. He knew he still had a lot to learn about what it meant to be a sub, but something about this felt different. Felt off. _

 

_ “Reset me? What does that mean?” Liam asked, hoping Connor would give him a better answer. He was pretty desperate to learn more about himself as his family surely didn't give him any information on how a submissive was supposed to live. And why would they? Neutrals rarely bothered to learn anymore than the basics. Connor was his only source of information that wasn't going to lecture him like the way a doctor would. _

 

_ Connor rolled his eyes with a fond smile playing on his lips. “I can explain it more later. Right now we need to get back to the matter at hand. You know I’d love it if you went of your suppressants for good, but that means your family would find out about you and our relationship would have to become more involved. Are you ready for that, Liam?” _

 

_ Liam felt a little thrown with Connor's less than satisfactory explanation, but the Dom never left Liam hanging for long and he was right, going off his suppressants did sound like a more important conversation right now. _

 

_ “Yes. I'm ready. My parents already know that you're a Dominant so I think that'll lessen the blow of it, give them less to worry about if they know I have someone to take care of me,” Liam reasoned. _

 

_ Connor nodded down at his boy and felt his small smile morph into a full blow grin. “Look at you, my sub is so smart and thoughtful. I can’t wait for you to be mine completely.” _

 

_ Liam blushed at Connor’s words, but didn’t shy away from the Dom as he reached out and carded his hand through Liam’s thick curls.   _

 

_ “I love you, Connor.” _

 

_ “I love you too, baby.” _

 

_ -*- _

 

Liam couldn’t bare to go back to the office after his embarrassing encounter at the cafe. He could feel a headache coming on as soon as he stepped out of the small shop and just decided to catch a cab home. He figured Zayn would get the hint that he wasn’t coming back and would leave on his own after he was finished with his work. Or he could just as easily leave before he was finished, but Liam couldn’t be bothered to care about that right now.

 

After almost an hour of sitting in traffic Liam was finally able to pay the driver and step out of the cab in front of his building. He gave the doorman a stiff smile as he passed and then immediately headed for the lift. The ride up to his penthouse seemed to last longer than usual, which of course it would on the one day where all he wants is to go home. When the doors eventually opened with an annoying  _ ping,  _ Liam instantly began to take off his shoes and loosen his tie. As he stepped out of the lift he kicked his shoes haphazardly out with him, leaving them to be tripped over later on.

 

Ignoring the awful sounding growl his stomach had started to emit while still in the cab, Liam instead decided to pass by his refrigerator and head straight for his liquor cabinet.  

 

He quickly poured and tossed back a shot of Rum before reaching underneath the countertop into his mini fridge and gathering up all that he needed for a Rum and coke.

 

Liam then made his way out of the kitchen and towards his reclining chair that faced the set of wall to ceiling windows in the living room.

 

It shouldn’t have bothered him, but the quiet clank of the ice cubes along with the slight groan of the leather chair as he got comfortable was all it took for his slight headache to morph into an absolute pounding mess.

 

He sighed while massaging his right temple, which was really a piss poor attempt to soothe his head, but he didn't have the strength to get up and find medicine. He was well aware that it wasn’t something ibuprofen could fix anyway. He knew exactly what was wrong with him, but that knowledge only pushed him to take larger sips of his drink.

 

The bright city lights bellow did their best to illuminate Liam’s dark living room, but ultimately could only cast a series of pitiful orange shadows across Liam’s sour expression.

 

He thought he was doing the right thing; moving into the expensive penthouse that overlooked the lively city. He had almost been sold immediately at the thought of being in the middle of all that he needed. And it was the exact opposite of what he had been used to which two years ago he thought was a necessary plus. He now however, grew increasingly aware of the staleness that hung heavily in the air and how the rooms continued to echo no matter how many items he stuffed into them. Liam tried to ignore those facts though as this was what he was supposed to be doing.

 

It was what every millionaire did.

 

The high-end suits, array of fancy cars, a penthouse all to himself. Liam was just like any other successful neutral.

 

His stomach suddenly started to turn over on itself and he barely had time to set his drink down beside him before he was hunching over and vomiting onto the carpet in front of his feet.

 

He stayed bent over for a minute, willing for his breathing to return back to normal. After he felt it was over, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and wrinkled his nose in disgust.

 

He felt a bit bad for his maid as he sidestepped the foul smelling puddle and went immediately to brush his teeth instead of dealing with his mess. He’d be sure to tip her twice as much as he usually did to compensate for his apparent incompetence.

 

When he was finished cleaning himself up he decided to just call it a night. It didn’t look like his headache was going to let up anytime soon and he’s sure if he stayed awake any longer it would only be a matter of time before his head was resting on the toilet seat.

 

He stripped down to his boxers and gently slid into his king sized bed, pulling the comforter over his head to ensure not even the tiniest sliver of city lights would disturb him.

 

-*-

 

Liam was really pushing it.

 

He was way past due, but he kept telling himself he didn't have the time-- which he  _ didn't _ . His biology however, really didn't care about whether or not he had the time. That’s just not how things worked.

 

He had called in sick from the rest of the work week, which was something he rarely did, but he could hardly find the strength to turn off his alarm Thursday morning. He couldn't even imagine getting dressed and dealing with his employees. He knew it was beyond irresponsible of him as he had left Zayn to run the show on his own, but Liam couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.

 

It was Saturday, or was it Sunday? Liam wasn't sure, but should probably figure that out before the day was up. He needed to know if he had one or two more days until he left for the States. He was just  _ so tired _ .

 

He had hardly moved from his bed since he woke up on Thursday-- instead deciding that falling in and out of sleep was the best way to spend his time.

 

So far today he had only moved enough to reach in his bedside table and pull out his medication and even that felt like too much. He swallowed two pills just in case and did his best to ignore the pounding in his head and the ache in his stomach.

 

He would find a Dominant to service him after he got back from his trip, after things settled down in the office-- then he would have more time and more energy to hit up the bar.

 

It was only a few more days. He could hold out for just a few more days.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello! Thank you all so much for waiting <3 This chapter was a lot more difficult for me to write than I thought it was going to be. Apparently writing smut and writing the majority of the chapter in Zayn's POV is very challenging for me. I would like to thank Tricia for editing the smut scene and for everyone else being so kind and encouraging <3 I'm so glad I've finally finished this chapter and am very excited to get started on the next one!
> 
>  
> 
> Please note that the beginning of this chapter talks about a car accident resulting in two deaths. Also, there is a bit of dubious consent going on throughout the smut scene so please consider this a trigger warning for both of those themes. 
> 
> Anyways...!

_ The call had come in around 1:30 am. _

****

_ Liam felt the bed shift as Connor swatted blindly at the bedside table where his cell phone started to go off for the fourth time in a row. _

****

_ “Hello?” Connor answered gruffly and sat up in their bed. _

****

_ Liam cuddled his way closer to the Dom and settled his head on his lap, humming appreciatively when Connor’s fingers lightly brushed through his curls. He was on the verge of falling back asleep when Connor abruptly shot out of bed, leaving Liam’s head to fall gracelessly onto the mattress. _

****

_ “Are you sure? Okay, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Connor’s voice had gone from exhausted to frantic in a matter of seconds and Liam was suddenly wide awake. _

****

_ “What’s going on?” Liam asked as he sat up and watched Connor start stuffing his legs into a pair of sweats. _

****

_ “My parents were in a car accident. We’ve got to go, Liam, come on get up!” Connor shouted, eyes wide with worry as he helped Liam pull a shirt over his head. _

****

_ Liam sat frozen in their bed and watched Connor rush around looking for his car keys. _

****

_ “Liam what are you doing?! We have to go!” Connor yelled when he realized the sub hadn't moved a muscle. _

****

_ The Dom’s angry tone had Liam fighting the urge to get to his knees and bow his head. In any other case that would have been a perfectly reasonable response, but Liam was sure that was the last thing his Dom wanted right now. _

****

_ So he immediately went to work with pulling on a pair of shorts and shoving his feet into his sneakers. _

****

_ Connor gripped Liam’s hand as they left their house and didn’t release it until the two had bolted through the doors of the A&E. _

****

_ “Excuse me-- um, my parents,” Connor fumbled once they had approached the front desk. _

****

_ “The last name,” The nurse said while her hands hovered over her keyboard. _

 

_ Liam watched as Connor opened his mouth to answer the woman only for nothing to come out. _

****

_ “Hughes. Marcus and Laura Hughes,” Liam supplied and wrapped a comforting arm around Connor’s waist. _

****

_ The nurse nodded and entered the information into the database. “It looks like they are both still in surgery. If you would please take a seat in the waiting area a Doctor will be out to update you as soon as they have more information.” _

****

_ Connor nodded his head numbly at the neutral and dragged his feet towards the seating area. Liam followed closely behind his Dom and plopped down into the chair beside him. Neither of them spoke, both too lost in their own heads. _

****

_ It all felt so surreal. The couple had only just gotten off the phone with Laura earlier that evening when she had called to excitedly inform them that she and Marcus would be back from their trip in time to make Liam’s graduation the next day.  _

****

_ Everything had been so perfect in Liam’s life since he and Connor had gotten together. Liam’s parents took to Connor almost as quickly as Marcus and Laura had taken to Liam. The two even helped Liam’s parents come around to him being a sub and choosing to go off his suppressants early. Connor’s parents had been a dream was the thing and now Liam feared he was about to be rudely awoken.  _

****

_ Liam settled his head on Connor’s shoulder and snuggled closer when the Dom brought his hand up to run his fingers through Liam’s hair; the action calming both of them. _

****

_ “I’m scared, Liam.” _

****

_ “I know, babe. I am too, but we’ve got to keep our heads up. Your parents are stro--” Liam started to comfort his boyfriend, but was interrupted by a gruff voice. _

****

_ “Connor Hughes?” _

****

_ Liam knew immediately by the regretful frown the doctor was sporting that nothing he could ever say would fill the hole that was suddenly burned through Connor’s soul. _

****

_ As it was with all intersection accidents, it was a case of the couple being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The doctor didn’t offer too many specifics as to what their injuries had been like but explained that by the time the two arrived at the hospital, they had already lost too much blood and their wounds were so profound that it made it nearly impossible for him to operate on them. Liam did his best to focus on what the doctor was saying, but that proved to be difficult with the way Connor’s fingers wound themselves tighter and tighter into his hair. It was as if with each word that left the doctor’s lips, the Dom lost that much more focus on how tangled his hand had become in the back of Liam’s head. _

****

_ “There was nothing left I could do for them. I’m sorry, Connor.” _

****

_ Liam visibly winced as the Dom jerked his hand back, matting the hair in his fist. Liam’s discomfort seemed to go unnoticed by the Doctor who simply passed along his condolences once more and took his leave quickly after. _

****

_ “Connor, babe. You’re hurting me.” Liam’s body hummed with anxiety as his words hardly registered with the Dom who sat next to him, emotionless. _

****

_ And as if he had been electrocuted Connor’s hand abruptly fell away from the sub. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Liam. I just- I didn’t mean to,” He apologized, his voice getting thicker by the second. _

****

_ Liam did all he could to send the Dom a reassuring smile, but he was almost positive it looked more like a grimace than anything else. He quickly wiped away the tears that had collected under his eyes before reaching out to do the same for his distraught boyfriend. “It’s okay, I’m fine. Come on, we should get you home. I’ll drive,” Liam soothed while he fought the urge to massage the back of his head. _

****

-*-

****

“Hi, how can I help you?” The receptionist asked once Liam had approached the front desk.

****

“Reservation for Liam Payne.”

****

“Yes, one master suite with two king-sized beds. I’ll get you your keys,” The blonde answered before reaching under the counter to grab their key cards.

****

“What? No there must be some mistake, I reserved two rooms. Separate rooms,” Liam clarified with a hint of panic. It was enough torture being alone on the private plane with Zayn for hours and hours. Liam didn't think he could handle the Dom being in his personal space any longer.

****

The neutral gave him a pointed look. “We had to change it once we learned what kind of company you decided to bring.” She gave Zayn a quick once-over with a wrinkled nose before turning her attention back to Liam.

****

“Excuse you, but that was completely out of line. You can’t treat me like that,” Zayn seethed, his eyes narrowed into slits.

****

“We are very sorry for the inconvenience Mr. Payne, but we can't have him unaccounted for and potentially harassing others,” She continued on as if Zayn hadn't even spoken.

****

Liam pinched the bridge of his nose and gritted his teeth together in frustration. He hated it here, truly hated it here and everything about America’s ass-backward way of life. He knew they didn’t treat Doms and subs with the same amount of respect as neutrals, but this chaperoning approach was new to him. He had never been forced to share a room with Savannah when they had spent time in the States. 

****

“Harass- _Harassing_? The only one being harassed here is me!” Zayn spluttered in absolute disbelief.

****

And now the Dominant was beginning to make a scene-- people glancing over with varying looks of curiosity and disapproval.

****

“Fine. Can we just have our keys please?” Liam asked, wanting nothing more than to get away from the prying eyes in the lobby.

****

The woman handed over the cards and Liam snatched them up and hurried over to the lift, not caring if Zayn decided to follow him or not.

****

“You’re not even going to try and defend me?” Zayn asked incredulously as they waited for the doors to open.

****

“There isn’t a whole lot I can do about it and I’m not going to fight with them and risk getting kicked out for it,” Liam dismissed and stepped into the elevator.

****

“Wow, I just love the way you look out for your employees Mr. Payne,” Zayn spat before turning and storming out of the hotel, leaving Liam to ride the lift up to their floor by himself.

****

Liam sighed loudly and rubbed at his temples with his free hand. It wasn’t his fault that the hotel was prejudice. He had even tried to explain to the Dom before the plane landed that it probably wasn’t going to be the most pleasant experience for him. Zayn had shrugged it off with a simple “I’m used to it” which apparently was either a lie or the Dom had no idea how to keep his cool. Liam assumed it was probably the latter more than the former, but it didn’t _matter_. Zayn didn’t have any right to be upset with him. Liam didn’t care how well Zayn did his job if he kept up with his outbursts Liam would fire him. He just didn’t need the extra stress of having a moody Dominant trailing behind him all the time.

****

He missed Savannah and their hassle-free time together.

****

By the time Liam had made it into their room, he had worked himself into a bit of a fit. So much so that he could feel beads of sweat starting to collect around the edge of his hairline and his heart felt as though it was beating a mile a minute and-- nononono _NO_ this could not be happening right now.

****

He threw his bags to the floor and unzipped them all in a daze, trying to locate his medication before it was too late. Stupid Zayn and his stupid Dominant ways pushed Liam right over the edge. The edge that he'd been straddling for weeks now.

****

Fuck!

****

He couldn’t deal with this right now! Not while he had important meetings to prepare for, not while Zayn was supposed to be sharing a fucking room with him. This was too much, it was all just too fucking much and that was the problem.

****

He had gone too long without a session and now he was going to pay for it.

****

Liam cried out in relief when his fingers finally grasped the suppressants at the bottom of his suitcase. Although he was in such a frenzy to get the cap off, the container flew right out of his clammy hands and onto the floor. It was almost as though time stopped altogether as Liam watched the bottle roll and roll and roll right underneath the TV cabinet.

****

“NO!” Liam wailed, his voice cracking from the force he had emitted so abruptly. He got down on his stomach and attempted to reach his arm underneath the cabinet, but it was no use. Even if his arm were able to fit, he wouldn’t be able to reach the container without getting something to drag it closer to him and he didn’t have time for that.

****

Feeling utterly defeated, Liam crumpled onto his side and rocked himself into the fetal position. He couldn't help but sob hysterically as he felt his mind start to deteriorate.

****

-*-

****

Zayn kept his head low as he made his way over to the lift. He was thankful that there had been another receptionist working by the time he decided he was calm enough to come back and didn't give him a hard time when he asked for his room key-- remembering Mr. Payne had taken both of the originals earlier.

****

He really didn't mind sharing a room with his boss, as he's sure it would be cheaper, but the reason as to why they were sharing a room was what really put a bad taste in his mouth.

****

Zayn had been preparing an apology since the moment he walked out of the hotel. He knew it wasn't Mr. Payne’s fault that the hotel had deemed him unfit to have a room by himself. He also knew he was a bit out of line for yelling at him and was sure if he kept letting his Dominant instincts control his mouth he’d end up getting fired, which really wasn’t something he wanted to put down on his resume. He had never had an issue controlling himself like he’d been having since he started to work for Mr. Payne, and he really didn’t understand what his problem was.

****

When the Dom had reached the door to their room he took a deep breath and was fully prepared to ask for forgiveness.

****

“Mr. Pa--” Zayn began, but instantly cut himself off as he watched his boss crawl over to him and start rambling nonsense.

****

“Please make it go away. I’ll be good just please make it stop. It hurts.”

****

Zayn stared open mouth at the man that was now kneeling at his feet-- tear tracks stained Liam’s cheeks and his brown eyes were glazed over, holding a somewhat faraway look.

****

“I-- what the fuck?” Was all he managed to get out as he watched his boss begin to cry and pull weakly at Zayn's pant legs. Zayn was completely thrown by the man’s distraught behavior.

****

“Please Sir, make it go away,” Liam begged.

****

And okay that didn't help Zayn at all. His boss was acting like a Dominant deprived submissive, but that couldn't be possible. Mr. Payne was a neutral. Or at least that's what Zayn had thought. “What hurts? I don’t understand what's going on Mr. Payne.”

****

A frustrated whine left Liam’s mouth. Why wasn't the Dom taking care of him? Was he not good enough? Liam knew he could probably do better, but everything hurt so badly he just wanted the Dom to make it stop.

****

Liam gripped Zayn’s hands in his and pulled one to his forehead and rested the other on his stomach, causing the Dom to lurch forward in order to reach the man on his knees.

****

“Hurts,” Liam whimpered.

****

Immediately Zayn was hit with the overwhelming sense of a submissive in distress.

****

“Shit. Okay, um, y-yeah, I can fix you right up. I'll make you feel better. Can you get out of your clothes for me?” Zayn’s head was spinning at the sudden realization that Liam was suffering from sub-sickness. It was overwhelming and unexpected, but Zayn wasn't about to let Liam end up being hospitalized just because he was caught off guard. This was serious and Zayn was more than capable of helping.

****

He watched as Liam hurriedly slipped off his shoes and removed his clothes until he was down to his black boxer briefs and staring back up at Zayn-- waiting for further instruction.

****

“Okay, that's good, thank you,” Zayn told him while reaching a hand out to pet the man’s hair, something that would not only buy him time to figure out his next move, but also calm Liam in the meantime. Liam’s eyes instantly fell shut at the contact and he leaned into Zayn’s hand-- silently asking him to continue.

****

Even though the two had only known each other for just over a week now when Zayn actually put some thought behind it everything about their hot and cold dynamic would make a lot more sense if his boss were a sub. It was a difficult thing to hide and Zayn’s honestly surprised he hadn't caught on to it sooner.

****

Zayn let his hand drop after a few moments and cleared his throat. “Color?”

****

“Green, Sir,” Liam answered instantly.

****

“Good, now I would like for you to hold your hands behind your back,” Zayn instructed while he began to loosen his tie and undo his belt. If he had been more prepared and not so worried about Liam’s health he would be taking his time. Here he had his boss-- _Liam Payne_ , who was one of the most well known and successful men under the age of 30 kneeling in front of him, begging for Zayn to sort him out. God, what Zayn would give if he could just take it slow, really draw it out until the man was a desperate, whining mess.

****

Of course, their session didn't have to be sexual, but Zayn was pressed for time and knew sex was not only the most effective but also the fastest method to bring a sub back from the brink of serious sub-sickness. He feared if he took too long trying to come up with something else that Liam would end up paying for it.

****

Zayn waited for Liam to get settled before he continued to undo his pants the rest of the way, internally groaning from the way Liam’s eyes were trained to his crotch and how the sub licked his lips in anticipation.

****

An impatient sound fell from Liam’s lips and before Zayn could do much about it, the sub’s hands were fumbling with Zayn’s boxers and eagerly pulling them down around his thighs.

****

When Liam made a move to wrap a hand around Zayn, that's when the Dom finally snapped out of his shock. “Excuse you, did I give you permission to touch me?” Zayn ground out, instinctively winding a hand in Liam’s hair and pulling so Liam was forced to look him in the eyes.

****

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Sir,” Liam apologized immediately, doing his best to mask his discomfort.

****

“If you weren't in such a state I’d be calling it quits for how disrespectful you just were, but as it stands, I think a light punishment should nip that behavior for now,” Zayn said thoughtfully. He wasn’t sure what Liam’s reds and yellows were, but spanking was a pretty common method of punishment and he hadn’t heard of it being a limit for a sub before. He would stop immediately if Liam were to color out anyway.

****

“How does ten spankings sound? Not too bad, but enough to let you know what you did was wrong,” Zayn explained and watched Liam’s face carefully for any signs of distress or excitement even. He couldn’t have the sub enjoying the punishment.

****

As Zayn was pulling his slacks back up and putting himself away, a look flashed across Liam’s face. It came and went too fast for Zayn to decipher what it could have been, but his attention was pulled away from the millisecond of odd behavior and to the sound of soft sniffles.

****

“Color please,” Zayn requested and lifted Liam’s chin from where he had tucked it close to his chest.

****

“Green,” Liam mumbled and although the single word came out wetly, Zayn found nothing but honesty in the sub’s eyes.

****

“Okay good, up you get,” Zayn said and maneuvered himself around Liam so he could sit on the edge of the bed.

****

Liam got to his feet and situated his front across where Zayn had patted his thighs. The Dom made a move to pull Liam’s boxers down, but stopped once he noticed how stiff the sub had become.

****

Zayn paused his movements and waited for Liam to color out, but the sub continued to stay quiet, save for a few sniffles here and there. “Over your briefs should work just fine,” Zayn decided, making sure his voice came out steady. He was aiming to correct the sub for his behavior but still wanted Liam to feel at ease throughout their time together.

****

“Count them out for me,” Zayn ordered before landing the first hit across Liam’s left cheek, not allowing for much of an adjustment period.

****

“One,” Liam said dutifully.

****

Zayn didn’t intend to waste any time and had always felt that those who left a sub waiting or anticipating a punishment were a bit cruel. Not all submissives were the same by any means, but Zayn knew more often than not being left in your own head to worry about an upcoming punishment was at least a yellow for subs. He wasn't about to put his boss through any more discomfort than he was already experiencing, whether that was a yellow for Liam or not.

****

“T-Ten,” Liam’s voice faltered slightly as the punishment came to an end.

****

“That was good, Liam. You did a great job, thank you,” Zayn praised as he helped Liam off of his lap.

****

The sub nodded in response but kept his eyes trained to the floor. Zayn inspected his demeanor carefully, cataloging the way Liam’s fingers twitched at his side's and how he seemed to be concentrating on his breathing.

****

“How are you feeling, Liam?” Zayn asked experimentally. He didn't think Liam was having a negative reaction to the spankings, but he was definitely acting differently than when Zayn had first entered the room. The Dom wondered if the punishment had done more than just correct Liam’s behavior.

****

“Gre-en,” Liam replied, his tone coming out a bit sour.

****

Zayn would have reprimanded the sub if it weren't for the fact that he could tell Liam’s attitude wasn't targeted towards him, but rather Liam was directing it at himself.

****

“It’s okay if you aren't green, Liam. I just need you to be honest with me,” Zayn explained while contemplating what kind of aftercare would be most beneficial for Liam. Most generally after a spanking, Zayn would offer his partner a bit of a cuddle and some kind words, but Liam didn’t seem like he was really up for any kind of physical intimacy at the moment. Plus the two still had quite a ways to go before their session was over and it would probably benefit Liam most if they held off on the aftercare until then.

****

Zayn cleared his throat in attempt to regain Liam’s attention. When the sub’s eyes finally met his own Zayn snapped his fingers twice and pointed to the floor by his feet. He wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting, as he was still mostly feeling out what kind of approach he should be taking with Liam. Zayn, however, knew for a fact that he hadn’t been expecting the reaction Liam supplied him with.

****

Zayn watched on in awe as Liam’s knees buckled and immediately collided with the rough hotel carpet. It was almost as though Liam couldn’t think of doing anything else other than kneeling by Zayn’s feet. He had just assumed Liam would feel less unsettled if he were kneeling, but it was safe to say the overtly submissive display had gone straight to Zayn’s dick.

****

The Dom squirmed slightly as his slacks began to get uncomfortably tight and was just about to unbutton them in order to relieve some of the pressure when Liam mumbled something that was all but lost underneath the shallow gasps he had started to emit.

****

“What was that?” Zayn questioned while his fingers worked to unbutton his slacks for the second time.

****

“C-Careful,” Liam repeated.

****

Zayn’s eyebrows knitted together and his fingers came to a halt. “Careful? Is something wrong?”

****

“Sli-pping,” Liam stuttered, his face scrunching in concentration. Zayn would have thought his expression was quite cute if the circumstances were different.

****

Zayn really should have known something like this would happen. He wasn't sure how long Liam had been dancing along the line of sub-sickness, but he could only imagine the stress his mind was under because of it. Although Zayn wasn’t aware of Liam having another headspace besides the one every sub was born with (which why would he when they really hadn't had time to discuss anything), it made sense that the sub might start to slip. What didn't make sense was why that potential bump in the road hadn't crossed Zayn’s mind.

****

He mentally scolded himself for being so careless.

****

“Okay, thank you for telling me. I need you to close your eyes and take a couple deep breaths, can you do that for me?” Zayn instructed carefully and watched as Liam did as he was told without hesitation.

****

“Good, now I need you to tell me how exactly you ’re feeling. Can you tell me about your headspace?” Zayn needed to know precisely what he was trying to prevent.

****

“I- hot, too hot an-and-” Liam cut himself off with a frustrated whine. Although with his tone of voice and the way he impulsively sucked his thumb into his mouth, Zayn had all the information he needed.

****

“How old are you, Liam?”

****

“Fiv- No. Twenty-seven.” A dark scowl clouded Liam’s features and Zayn was just barely able to hold back a wince when Liam forcefully withdrew his thumb from his lips.

****

Zayn felt as though he were caught trying to pick between the lesser of two evils. If he let Liam escape into his alternate headspace like the sub obviously needed to, then his original makeshift plan would be delayed. Zayn shivered at the thought of needing to phone an ambulance because he had taken too long to get Liam sorted. However, Zayn was well aware of the dangerous effects Liam could face if his natural urge to regress was ignored.

****

A decision needed to be made.

****

“Now there’s nothing wrong with being little, but right now I would like you to try to stay twenty-seven.”

****

“I-I’m trying, b-but I feel wro-”

****

“I know you feel wrong right now, babe, but it's important for you to stay big for me,” Zayn cut off Liam’s worried mumbling and began to roll up his sleeves.

****

He hated himself for what he was about to do, but he just didn't see any other way to get Liam back on track. The sub clearly wasn't able to stay focused on his own and Zayn just hoped his boss wouldn't hold it against him later on.

****

Zayn gently reached a hand around Liam’s head and lightly ran his fingers through Liam’s short hair. He lingered only long enough for Liam to get comfortable with Zayn touching him again before slowly moving his hand downwards. He half expected the sub to protest, but as his hand settled firmly on the knot at the back of Liam’s neck, no protest came about. In fact, with how sudden the effect seemed to hit Liam, Zayn barely had to do anything more than massage the spot a couple of times.

****

In the past the reset method had been used without question; Doms and neutrals alike taking advantage of the knot submissives were born with for years. Though after the protests and riots broke out, stricter regulations were imposed on Doms as well as neutrals.

****

A sub’s spot was not to be messed with unless the sub had given their explicit consent beforehand. Of course, there were those who still got away with abusing the reset method thanks to how fucked the reporting system was. There were also times though, that when it came down to it, the method could be used if it were for the greater good of the sub.

****

As it stood, Zayn felt this was what would best for Liam.

****

Zayn watched as Liam’s shoulders began to sag as he released his hold on Liam’s neck. It was almost as though the nervous energy that had cocooned itself so tightly around him, suddenly evaporated.

****

“Are you ready to be a good boy for me?” Zayn asked. He waited patiently for his words to make their way through the thick haze that had settled protectively around Liam’s mind.

****

“Yes, Sir.”

****

Zayn nodded, pleased with Liam’s response. He stood then and allowed for his slacks and boxers to finally drop to the floor.

****

When Liam didn't show any signs of disobedience, Zayn removed his dress shirt as well.

****

Liam’s mouth fell open instantly at the sight of Zayn standing fully nude and slowly moving a hand over himself, only inches from Liam’s face.

****

“Well go on then,” Zayn encouraged, impressed by the sub’s new found self-control.

****

Liam gladly shuffled his knees forward before licking a fat stripe along the underside of Zayn’s cock; dipping low enough for the tip of his tongue to lightly graze the Dom’s fingers that were wrapped around the base.

****

Zayn couldn't help the groan that slipped past his lips as Liam’s mouth enclosed around him. It was so warm and wet, but also rather overwhelming. Zayn had had his fair share of sessions before, but with the way Liam was working him over, there was no comparison.

****

A muffled gagging noise brought his attention back to the man kneeling in front of him.

****

“So-Sorry, Sir,” Liam coughed.

****

“It's okay, you did a good job,” Zayn reasoned and moved to take a step back when Liam’s hands flew to Zayn’s sides and locked around his hips, holding him in place.

****

“Again? Wanna try again please,” Liam pleaded and flexed his fingers against Zayn’s skin, subtly trying to pull the Dom closer.

****

Zayn nodded along easily, not giving it much thought as he thumbed across Liam’s bottom lip, completely entranced by the plump expanse of skin.

****

“First," Zayn started while wrapping his fingers around Liam’s wrists and maneuvering his hips free. “You’re gonna be a good boy for me and put your hands behind your back again, yeah?”

****

Liam immediately did as he was told and waited as Zayn picked up his tie from the floor and knelt behind the sub.

****

“Color, please?” Zayn asked as he secured his tie around Liam’s wrists. It wasn't too terribly tight and the soft satin material should have added a more comfortable element to being restrained, but Zayn needed to be sure.

****

“Green, Sir,” Liam assured while glancing at Zayn over his shoulder. And while Liam’s words had come out light and airy, Zayn couldn't help but feel weighed down by the heavy heat of the sub’s gaze. Their faces were only inches apart by this point and Zayn found himself unable to tear his eyes away from Liam’s swollen lips.

****

Just as the sub began to lean in, Zayn cleared his throat suddenly and busied himself with the tie around Liam’s wrists; making sure the knots were just so. Zayn didn't miss the soft disgruntled noise Liam made as Zayn refocused his attention but knew it was best if he acted like he had.

****

Zayn’s knees cracked as he got up from the ground and stood in front of Liam once more.

****

The sub happily opened his mouth without any prompting and Zayn was starting to find it difficult to pace himself.

****

Zayn shuddered as he slowly fed his cock back into Liam’s mouth. The sub let out a series of muffled moans as Zayn began to gradually push himself in deeper and deeper. Zayn loved the sight of Liam’s shoulders tensing every so often as he flexed his arms against the restraints as if he wanted to break free and get a firm grip on the Dom’s hips once again. Zayn eyed the sub’s biceps and figured that Liam probably could break the knot around his wrists, but was so focused on taking all Zayn was offering him that he could only muster up the strength for few weak tugs against the material.

****

Zayn almost felt high with power as he watched his boss begin to tear up and drool around his cock. The grunt that left his mouth once his tip brushed the back of Liam’s throat was louder than he had intended, but he assumed it left Liam feeling encouraged by the way he suddenly swallowed down around Zayn. The movement caught Zayn off guard and had him grabbing Liam’s hair in attempt to steady himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and knew if he didn’t count down from ten and pull himself out that he was going to end up finishing well before he was supposed to.

****

He was so close that even the whine Liam let out in protest had him gripping the base of his cock in order to keep himself from just finishing all over the sub’s face.

****

“You did so well for me,” Zayn praised when Liam went to say something, but only ended up coughing instead. He quickly padded over to the bathroom and filled a glass up with water and brought it up to Liam’s swollen lips.

****

The sub made a noise of confusion and looked up towards Zayn with glossy eyes.

****

“Drink this and then stand up for me,” Zayn explained and waited for Liam to make sense of his words.

****

Zayn thumbed away the wetness that had accumulated under Liam’s eyes as he sipped the water. When the glass was empty Liam did as he was told and maneuvered himself up onto his feet.

****

Zayn turned him around and released Liam’s wrists from their hold, making sure to lightly massage the skin.

****

“Now on the bed.”

****

Liam turned on wobbly legs and crawled onto the mattress. The sub let out a sharp hiss as his hips accidentally dipped just low enough to brush against the expensive white duvet. Maybe if Zayn hadn’t felt so overrun with arousal he would have put a stop to Liam’s hips dipping down for a second, third and fourth time. He shook his head slightly in attempt to clear his thoughts and not allow for his voyeurism kink to get the best of him.

****

“That’s enough,” Zayn finally spoke, his voice coming out a lot softer than he planned.

****

Liam’s hips stilled instantly and cast a desperate look over his shoulder. “Please. I-I need it.”

****

And Zayn couldn’t believe how absolutely wrecked Liam sounded already.

****

“I know babe, I know. Turn on your back for me,” Zayn instructed and swallowed thickly as he thought about what he was going to do. He was almost positive he had never been more excited to suck someone off as much as he was right now. He probably should have felt a little intimidated with the way Liam’s boxers were tented, but he hadn’t had his mouth around anything noteworthy in a very long time. Submissives more often than not were smaller than Doms in every aspect, but Zayn was quickly understanding that just wasn’t the case with his boss.

****

Liam carefully turned on his back, his chest rising and falling heavily as he watched Zayn kneel between his legs.

****

Zayn didn't waste any time getting his hands on Liam’s naked torso, loving the way the sub’s well-defined abs felt underneath his wandering fingers.

****

Liam whined loudly when Zayn's hands traveled low enough to grip the edge of Liam’s waistband. Zayn slowly peeled the material away from the sub’s feverish skin and couldn't help but match Liam's moans as he was finally able to see all of him.

****

“Sir I-”

****

“Shh, shh, I got you yeah,” Zayn interrupted before tossing Liam’s boxers off the bed and leaning down to take as much of Liam into his mouth as he could, causing the sub to let out an encouraging groan.

****

Zayn’s throat strained when he tried to take Liam in all the way and he could feel the need to cough start to come about, but Zayn was determined to fight the urge if it meant Liam would continue to whine nonsensically and dig his blunt nails into Zayn’s shoulders.

****

The noises Liam was making coupled with the constant weight of his thick cock pressed heavily against Zayn’s tongue had the Dominant humming in approval.

****

“Can’t-- need to need to--” Liam moaned while squirming underneath Zayn.

****

Zayn immediately pulled off of the sub. “No. You will not cum until I tell you to, understood?” He flexed his fingers against Liam’s hips for emphasis, a sudden possessive streak thrumming through him. The thought of Liam baring marks Zayn had left behind filled the Dom with so much satisfaction that he found himself leaning down to suck bruises into Liam’s v-line.

****

“Yes, Sir.” Liam complied breathlessly.

****

And if it weren't for the fact that Zayn’s cock was practically begging for release by this point, he would have been perfectly happy to continue sucking bruises into Liam’s torso. However, he knew if he didn't get inside the sub soon his self-control would surely snap and he'd end up cumming all over the sub beneath him. Which really didn't sound all that bad when he thought about it, but that wasn't the point of this session.

****

“Good boy,” Zayn mumbled into Liam’s skin, before pulling away so he could get off the bed. Liam cried out as Zayn withdrew from him, causing the Dom to make quick work of sifting through his suitcase to find lube.

****

“It’s alright. I’m right here,” Zayn soothed once he was back on the bed. Liam only put a stop to his worried rambling after Zayn wrapped a grounding hand around the sub’s ankle. Zayn went to work with popping the cap of the bottle and emptying a generous amount onto his fingers.

****

Liam gasped sharply as Zayn circled his cool fingers around his rim.

****

“Please, please, _please_.”

****

“Just relax, babe. I know what you need,” Zayn said and worked a finger inside of the sub.

****

“More, need more.” Liam’s eyebrows were knitted together and Zayn could tell he was doing his best to relax around Zayn.

****

“Not yet, I’ll tell you when you need more,” Zayn told him through gritted teeth while trying to build up a consistent pace. Liam was incredibly tense around him and he just wished the sub would focus on letting go instead of trying to tell the Dom what to do. Zayn knew exactly how to pull a sub apart and put them back together and hardly appreciated being treated as though he didn’t.

****

He was on the verge of initiating a no talking rule as a sort of punishment for Liam speaking up when he shouldn’t be, but then the sub let out a loud, drawn-out “yesss” as Zayn finally felt Liam was loose enough to take on a second finger. And Zayn was promptly hit with a wave of dizzying arousal. The noises Liam continued to make hit him hard and had him pulling his fingers free and quickly coating his cock with more than enough lube.

****

He slid inside of the sub easily and wasn’t sure how long either of them were going to last at this point, but he knew he never wanted to lose the feeling of Liam clenching around him.

****

It wasn’t hard for Zayn to find a steady rhythm and groaned shamelessly when Liam began to grind his hips down against him.

“I--” Liam panted, but cut himself off in favor of releasing a desperate whimper.

****

“Yeah? Come on, use your words, Liam,” Zayn taunted huskily. He knew exactly what the sub wanted, but craved to hear him say it aloud.

****

“Want to cum. _Need_ to,” Liam grunted.

****

And Zayn really couldn’t help himself at this point, he was itching to see the sub unravel beneath him. “Only good boys get to cum. Are you a good boy, Liam?”

****

“Yes, yes. I’m a good boy. Please, Sir. Please let me cum,” Liam sobbed as Zayn picked up the pace of his hips and snapped them against Liam’s. He knew he found Liam’s prostate once the sub’s low, gravelly moans turned into high pitched whines. God, he was a mess, and Zayn was living for every moment of it.

****

Zayn reached up with his left hand and gripped Liam’s wrists together above his head, pressing him impossibly deeper into the mattress. He leaned down and mouthed along Liam’s neck before turning his attention to the outer shell of his ear, flicking his tongue out impulsively and whispering, “Go for it, babe.” 

****

Liam whimpered as he was finally able to let go.

****

Zayn moaned as he watched Liam buck his hips up frantically searching for some kind of friction. Zayn took pity on the sub and decidedly replaced his hold on Liam’s wrists in favor of wrapping his hand around his leaking cock. He gladly helped Liam through the last bit of his orgasm before slamming back into Liam’s now pliant body and claiming his own climax.

****

It was overwhelming in the best way possible and felt as though he might never stop cumming.

****

“Holy shit,” Zayn breathed before he gently pulled out of Liam and flopped down on the bed beside him. He laid there completely blissed out for a few moments, trying to get his breathing under control as well as wrap his head around what just happened. It was easily one of the best sessions he had had with a sub in a long time even though it was rushed and rather sloppy.

****

Liam suddenly mumbled something unintelligible, effectively drawing Zayn out of his post-sex daze.

****

“You did so well for me,” Zayn informed him while carefully pulling Liam into his arms.

****

“G-Good?” Liam asked self consciously.

****

“Yeah, babe. So so good for me,” Zayn confirmed. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table and wondered briefly how long it would take for the sub to come back to him. Sometimes it took hours or days even for a sub to become fully aware of themselves again after a session, especially if the reset method had been incorporated.

****

Today was just about settling into the hotel so thankfully they didn’t have to worry about being late to any meetings. He suddenly had the urge to coil his arms tighter around the sub’s middle at the thought of anyone seeing Liam so soon after a session. Liam needed time to recuperate. Needed time with Zayn so he could help Liam recuperate. Liam needed Zayn plain and simple. Only Zayn.

****

The Dom swallowed thickly as he realized how his thoughts were beginning to sound.

****

It wasn’t uncommon was the thing, for Doms and subs to form a temporary attachment after experiencing a reset session together. In hindsight, Zayn should have thought about the repercussions a little harder before deciding to help Liam by himself instead of just phoning an ambulance.

****

A hospital would have had plenty of unattached Doms to offer Liam and an environment with a lot more suitable options than their hotel room.

****

Zayn wasn't daft, though and he's sure word would have gotten out. Word about Liam Payne being a submissive all this time and his reputation would be discredited immediately. 

****

And maybe it was the attachment speaking, but Zayn wanted to protect the sub from all of that. Liam didn't deserve to have everything taken away from him just because he was a submissive. So Zayn would suck it up. He’d never been attached to a sub before (he’d kind of been waiting for “the one”), but he’d enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest for now and in a couple of days the attachment would dissolve.

How hard could it be?

****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think in the comments or come chat with me over on my tumblr ---> xxsincerely-insanityxx  
> (one day I'll be fancy and link my tumblr, but today is not that day)


	4. !!Announcment!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOT an update :(

Hi hello hello! Unfortunately this is not an update, but instead, I guess you could call it a check-in for those who are interested. I am beyond sorry about the lack of updates this story has received and it is definitely not discontinued! I have had a really shitty time for the last while and have not really been interested in the fandom or writing fics. I have worked on the next few chapters on and off throughout my hiatus, but ultimately am still not finished with the next update. I didn't want to post anything unless it was an update so that's another reason why there hasn't really been much interaction from my end, but I get all of the email notifs for those that are still leaving comments and kudos!! It is so inspiring and each one makes me that much more encouraged to get back in the fic writing game <3 I appreciate each and every one of you who has taken the time to read my fics and even though I still can't give you a proper date and time of the next update just know I am still very determined to finish my fics, this one most importantly <3 

-Luke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be deleting this update when I'm ready to post the next real chapter so just a heads up! (:


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